What I wish I knew about social media and mental health years ago

It's 2004 and my Myspace game is hot. My page has blurry selfies, custom coding and a music playlist featuring The Mars Volta. I’ve spent hours updating my blog and finding the perfect order for my ‘friends list.’ All is well in life. 

What I didn’t know was how much social media was going to consume my personal and professional life in the next 15 years. I didn’t account for the time and mental energy that it would take, and I couldn’t imagine the toll that it would take on my mental health. But that’s not even where it ends. Social media use can affect thoughts, feelings and sleep, causing memory loss, insecurity and depression.

Had I known, I may have prepared myself better. But here’s what I know now…

It’s okay to set boundaries

This can be said for ANYTHING in your life… relationships, friendships, family, work, social media… you name it! 

I’m not the best person at setting boundaries, however, age and experience have slowly gifted me the growing ability to say ‘no’ to things that do not serve me.

No, I can’t always say no to my job. A girl’s gotta eat, right? But what I can say ‘no’ to is negativity, toxic habits, toxic people, toxic positivity and social media, when it’s needed. 

I love what I do. But working in social media comes with a caveat. The tool can be a breeding ground for the things and people that bring us down the most. It takes a lot of mental muscle to weed through the smut and simply step away when it feels impossible to muster the energy to do the job you’re paid to do. Don’t get me wrong. I love this job, but I’m human and even social media managers need a break. 

Toxic positivity is destructive 

We all have that one social media friend who is constantly vomiting toxic positivity in their Instagram feed and stories with nothing but inspirational BS on being happy. 

Literally, nothing makes my eyes roll harder than, “Failure isn't an option,” “Happiness is a choice,” and “Just stay positive.” These types of statements can do more harm to those going through a tough time. It can make them feel dismissed and invalidated. And for those saying it, it’s a red flag that they're avoiding their own emotions. 

There’s nothing wrong with being positive in life. A positive outlook on life can boost one's well-being. But instead of spewing “good vibes” all over the place, we should use social media as a tool that gives permission for others to open up to feel and discuss the difficult emotions and situations in life.

Selfcare is not selfish 

I used to spend a lot of time and energy punishing myself for things I wasn’t happy about. I wish I spent more time working to understand the areas of myself that I wasn’t proud of. 

When mature and self-aware people see a problem in their career, personal relationships, physical health, etc., they make corrections and set boundaries in their lives to alter the situation. That, in itself, is self-care.
So, treat yo self (mentally) and celebrate even the most minor wins. 

Openly discussing behavioral health is important

I’m not sure exactly at what point in my life I came to this realization, but I do know that it was after hearing, reading or watching my peers begin to discuss their struggles with mental health openly. 

I remember seeing a therapist in middle school (upon my parents’ wishes) and again when I started college. I was too young, naive and immature to explain the symptoms of anxiety that I was feeling, so I got really good at deflecting questions about how I was doing, feeling or thinking.

Sometime in my late 20s, I noticed more and more open dialogue on social media about behavioral health, symptoms of declining mental health and personal stories. I saw red flags in myself and it opened the door for research and self-care. I still struggle discussing it myself but I’m getting better at it and try to always be an open ear for friends and family.

This is one reason why I love social media. It has the ability to easily create conversations on raw and uncomfortable topics that leave room for curiosity and human connection.